When Her Majesty’s Glorious Tory Part launched ‘Friends of the Union’ Teresa May gave three warnings: Scotland would be flooded with immigrants, Scotland would need border defenses, & Scotland would be vulnerable to terrorist attacks.
#bettertogether seeks to build on apathy, cynicism & fear to drive towards a 0% turnout in 2014.
Below are x reasons of cynicism & fear which will make us so depressed we just won’t care about the future.
1) We demand 4 referendum options: Yes, No, Meh & Trident
2) Dependence is the greatest political opportunity of our lifetime.
3) Scotland is being too ambitious. Stop it.
4) Scotland should be small & shut up.
5) The Ginger Community will flee persecution after 2014
6) “Scotland small? Our multiform, our infinite Scotland small?” Yes, we think it is
7) NME have announced that an Independent Scotland will not be allowed to listen to English music.
8) Scotland will have less sunlight without ‘British Summer Time’ warn Unionists
9) Salmon to migrate South in the event of Independence. Fish are #bettertogether
10) Chicken tikka masala will leave an Independent Scotland
11) Scots are subsidised by English sun it’s difficult to be precise on how much, but we could not see on our own. #sunnierTogether
12) Preserve British Summer Time. No to independent weather! Don’t let Salmond & co. separate our seasons!#sunnierTogether
13) Writing a constitution is difficult. Trusting the Government is easier.
14) Independence: gonnnay no dae that? How no? Jist gonnae no!
15) The film Brave demonstrates that Scottish success on the world stage is pure fantasy
16) Scotland will literary sink under the weight of its own incompetence if indy
17) YesScotland threaten to implement compulsory Gaelic for all household pets & farm livestock.
18) Independent Scotland to suffer from shampoo shortage.
19) Independent Scotland could not afford sport, claim Unionists, as we would be too busy begging to play.
20) Uncertainty over campaign balloons set to burst @YesScotland
21) The world ends in 2014 #bettertogether
22) The moon threatens to dislodge its orbit in the event of Scottish Independence #bettertogether #moonEarthTogether
23) Scottish bands to play sadder music after Independence
24) New poll proves that separatists are lonelier & less likely to fall in love
25) An independent Scotland would be like a teenage house party & things would get broken